Abreu unemployment enters third month

Former Phillies outfielder Bobby Abreu has been unemployed for nearly three months since being laid off by the New York Yankees in an effort to lower payroll and “to head in another direction”, according to GM Brian Cashman.

“When I was told that my services were no longer needed with the Yankees, it was a little tough to take,” Abreu said. “They gave me some garbage about wanting to slash payroll, but then they go spend a half a billion dollars in about a month. The next thing I know, I’m at home updating my resume and posting it on CareerBuilder.com.”

When asked why he’s finding it hard to find a job this offseason, he said “I don’t know, really. I can still hit doubles…doesn’t anyone like doubles anymore?”

Paul Byrd, another former Phillie and current unemployed ballplayer, was spotted on Monday in front of Citizens Bank Ballpark with a sign reading “Will do old-timey windup and Kelsey Grammer impersonation for food.”

Zaki is the Chief Rocka and senior writer for PhillyGameday.com.