Jay Cutler’s rift with the Broncos and new head coach Josh McDaniels is more far-reaching than anyone could have anticipated. Cutler’s recent request to be traded has allegedly piqued the Washington Redskins’ interest in the third-year Vanderbilt product, which has in turn angered current ‘Skins QB Jason Campbell.

Campbell then proceeded to request a trade of his own early on Sunday and has drawn interest from the Baltimore Ravens, which caused rookie QB Joe Flacco to shit a brick and demand a trade. As of 9:23 PM EDT on Sunday, nearly every NFL quarterback had a trade request filed with their respective team, with the lone exception of Donovan McNabb since the Eagles wouldn’t dream of replacing their li’l Don-Don.

“I had no idea all of this stuff would happen when I asked to be traded,” said Cutler. “But I don’t want to be somewhere where you can just wake up one day and the new jerk-face coach can just entertain the idea of trading you to some other team. I just have to get out of here before this fool decides to do something else crazy, like take away our locker room Wii and send us to bed with no dessert.”