Sixers pass on Johnson, hire Eddie 'Facepalm' Jordan as new head coach
May 30, 2009 by Zaki
The 76ers put an end to their coaching search on Friday by passing on the funneh tawkin’ Avery Johnson to hire Eddie Jordan, close buddy of Sixers GM ‘Special’ Ed Stefanski. In just over five seasons with the Wizards, Jordan led his team to a very Sixers-like .467 winning-percentage,... [Read more...]
Myers injury leaves gaping hole in rotation filled with several hundred gaping holes
May 29, 2009 by Zaki
Brett Myers may miss the rest of the season with a hip injury that will likely require surgery. It is also very likely that no one will notice that Myers is gone anyway, since we’re all numb to the chaos of Phils starters by now that his replacement’s inevitable implosion won’t seem... [Read more...]
Milwaukee's vendetta against All-Star game leaves Ibanez sixth in outfield voting
May 27, 2009 by Zaki
Major League Baseball’s All-Star game apparently slept with the Milwaukee’s wife or killed its first born because the city continues to piss on what used to be a proud fixture of Americana. Bud Selig, baseball’s commissioner and former owner of the Brewers, signed his own declaration... [Read more...]
Controversy bound to hover over Moyer's pursuit of all-time home run record
May 26, 2009 by Zaki
Jamie Moyer lost another bid for his 250th career win in Monday’s 5-3 loss to the Marlins, but inched closer to becoming baseball’s all-time home run [given up] leader. The fourth-inning jack by Wes Helms gave Moyer 477 for his career, 28 behind Phillies great Robin Roberts’ 505 for... [Read more...]
Weekend series win over Yanks overshadowed by disappearance of Brad Lidge
The Phils took two of three from the Skanks over the weekend, but the real story was the ongoing search for closer Brad Lidge, who may have been abducted following last year’s World Series win. “We’re all trying to pull ourselves together as a team and get through this,” said... [Read more...]
Report: Kolb talks about desire to be an NFL starter, what he had for dinner last night
May 22, 2009 by Zaki
Eagles backup quarterback Kevin Kolb spoke on Thursday about how he would rather throw a football for a living than hold a clipboard and somehow this became newsworthy. “I just said how I would rather be an NFL starter and the reporters and fans started going nuts,” said Kolb on Friday. “They... [Read more...]
Vick fitted with ankle device, extra-long white tee as condition of release
May 21, 2009 by Zaki
Michael Vick arrived at his home in Hampton, VA this morning after being released from a federal prison on Wednesday. Vick will spend the next two months in home confinement where he will be fitted with a wireless electronic device to control his new XBox 360. Vick reiterated that he was truly remorseful... [Read more...]
Phils learn dangers of taking Chan Ho in large doses; Happ replaces Park in rotation
May 20, 2009 by Zaki
Charlie Manuel and the Phillies learned the hard way that it’s best to take Chan Ho Park in small, one- to three-inning doses out of the bullpen. It’s been well documented that teams using Chan Ho in larger doses run the risk of astronomical ERAs, fainting and severe swelling in the loss... [Read more...]
Coste sedated to hide reckless enthusiasm for White House trip
May 18, 2009 by Zaki
The Phillies were finally able to fit in their trip to the White House on Friday and no one was more excited for the day’s arrival than Chris Coste. In the days leading up to the visit, Coste posted daily countdown reminders on each players’ locker and would randomly scream ‘Obama!’... [Read more...]
Cards had no intention of trading Boldin, just wanted the attention
May 16, 2009 by Zaki
According to the obvious behavior by the Arizona Cardinals, the team had zero intention of trading star wide receiver Anquan Boldin this whole time and instead just wanted to milk their 15 minutes of fame before they inevitably sink back into the NFL’s cesspool. Early reports indicated that the... [Read more...]
