Carlos Ruiz reluctantly agrees to hair extension

Though it looked like Carlos Ruiz and the Phillies were ready to end negotiations, the two sides were finally able to come to terms on a new hair extension.

“It looked like we weren’t going to get anything done for a while there,” Ruiz said on Tuesday. “I was asking for an actual contract extension, but they wanted me to work for free. So, we met in the middle, and now I look like a douche.”

The extension should last about three years and includes a 2013 club option to pay Ruiz actual money — $5 million — but the Phillies will probably find a way to waste that cash on Jamie Moyer.

Zaki is the Chief Rocka and senior writer for PhillyGameday.com.