Lidge out 4-6 weeks after doctor blows fifth surgery of season
Unable to successfully complete his one job in life, surgeon Fran Gargiulo botched a simple procedure on Phillies closer Brad Lidge, who will now likely be out for the next four to six weeks as a result. “It was a pretty simple procedure... [Read more...]
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Richard Simmons looks to help injury-plagued Mets fill holes
The New York Mets officially announced that fitness guru Richard Simmons will be joining the team this spring to try and fill several gaping holes on the Mets roster and encourage healthier living. “I’m... [Read more]
McNabb not among Romosexuals’ 2010 fantasy keepers
Romosexuals team owner Mike Godfrey announced he will likely drop Donovan McNabb from his fantasy team after nearly a decade of holding onto the quarterback as a keeper. “I think it’s pretty... [Read more]
Lane Kiffin heading to USC is like that girl we all knew with daddy issues that kept going back to the abusive, dysfunctional boyfriend. They need each other to feel normal, and what’s normal to... [Read more]
McGwire: Steroids won’t improve foot-mouth coordination
Mark McGwire finally came clean, admitting he used steroids for over a decade during his playing career, but he disputed the notion that the drugs ever improved his foot-to-mouth coordination. “I... [Read more]
Eagles lose 392-7, reports guy who quit watching at halftime
The Eagles are just assumed to have lost to the Cowboys in Saturday’s wildcard matchup, though no one in the entire Tri-State area actually watched the end of the game to confirm the final outcome... [Read more]
Snickering David Stern temporarily reinstates Gilbert Arenas
Two days after indefinitely suspending Gilbert Arenas for his recent behavior, NBA Commissioner David Stern had his way with the troubled guard by temporarily lifting his suspension for all of three minutes. “I... [Read more]
Obviously, this message isn’t directed toward the 73.7% of writers that don’t act like they were stuffed in a locker every day by their high school baseball team. I am strictly speaking to... [Read more]
It’s official: The frohawk is on its way out and the high-top fade is making its glorious comeback, more than 15 years after I transformed my own sharp box into dreds. And I couldn’t be happier. I’m... [Read more]
Sixers guarantee long, painful season for Iverson
The Sixers made a major move yesterday by guaranteeing that Allen Iverson will endure one of the longest and most painful seasons of his 14-year career. “When we first brought him in here, we couldn’t... [Read more]