According to a law enforcement official, authorities plan to meet with LeBron James over a comment the Heat star made on Twitter regarding The Lord’s involvement in the series.

“The Greater Man upstairs know when it’s my time. Right now isn’t the time,” James Tweeted shortly after the Heat lost to the Mavericks 105-95 in the decisive Game 6 of the NBA Finals.

Authorities were also tipped off by a number of comments Mavericks guard Jason Terry made during the series, implicating The Almighty’s direct involvement in the outcome of several games.

“You know, to God be the glory. He gives me all the strength to go out here and perform at a high level,” Terry said after the Mavericks’ Game 5 win over the Heat.

The FBI has not indicated whether the NBA players themselves are under investigation for allegedly communicating and asking favors of the omnipotent being throughout the NBA Finals, but would not rule out any future legal action.

God, the Alpha and Omega, is also under investigation for fixing every sporting event ever played, but outside of hearsay testimony, authorities have yet to find any concrete evidence that connects the omniscient being to the outcome of games.

Pryor, who decided on Tuesday to skip his senior season at Ohio State, raked in about $45 million from selling Buckeye memorabilia, $20 million from selling autographs and $11 million in other assorted improper benefits.

Rounding out the list at No. 3 is NBA star Kobe Bryant with $53 million, followed by recent top NFL draft pick Cam Newton at $49 million and USC freshman running back Dillion Baxter at $47 million.

“Yesterday, we were informed by Major League Baseball that we could no longer get away with counting Bartolo as only one man,” Yankees general manager Brian Cashman said. “Technically, we were supposed to release 57 men to account for Bartolo, but [Bud] Selig said he would cut us a break this time.”

This marks the largest roster move in the organization’s history since 2009 when the team was forced to clear out their entire minor league system to make room for a CC Sabathia rehab start.

Shaquille O’Neal, 39, said that while doctors warned that his weight could double in as little as three hours after stopping his exercise program, the daily grind was too much to endure.

“I’m going to miss the competition, the chase for the ring, being able to move…all that stuff,” O’Neal said. “But it’s time for the next chapter in my life.”

Eric Barger, M.D., a physician at Central Florida Regional Hospital said that O’Neal’s life could be at risk if he does not continue to play basketball.

“It is my professional opinion that playing basketball regularly was the only thing keeping this man alive,” said Barger.

“If someone approached him and really, really wanted him to return to the Bulls to coach the NBA’s Most Valuable Player in Derrick Rose for a chance to win another title and retire a champion, then he would think about it,” the source said.

The source said that health problems will likely factor into his decision since Jackson is not sure he would be able to brave the final eight months of the NBA playoffs on a bad leg.

“Well then…I guess that’s the end of that,” NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said of the labor dispute after the NFL and players immediately agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement since money was no longer an issue. “It’s funny how easily you can just focus on what’s best for the game when you remove $9 billion from the picture. Maybe we’ll donate our revenues to charity from now on or something. What’s that? Am I serious? Ha-ha, of course not, but you should’ve seen your face. Classic.”

As of press time, the NFL discovered that $6.27 had actually remained from the 2010 revenues which nullified the newly-signed CBA, sending the two sides back to court over how to divide the $6.27.

“We’ll give you complete run of the place if you can just pitch in to cover some of Angel Pagan’s salary or at least the sewer bill,” said team owner Fred Wilpon, who now lives in his office but promises that you wouldn’t even know he was there. “Really though, whatever you can contribute is cool.”

In an effort to draw more interest, the Mets have offered to let you manage a few games if you commit to a two-year lease and try to keep it down after 11pm.

“This year, like every year before, we are thrilled to give away brand new items,” said Mets general manager Sandy Alderson. “We will open our home schedule against the Nationals with Harrah’s Engraved Necklace Night, where the first Karen that loves a Stew will receive a personalized necklace. Other great promotions will include Chevy Size 8 Left Shoe Night and our soon-to-be-popular Delta Air Lines Mets Jacket With Brown Stuff On It Night.”

Alderson went on to say that if anyone happens to receive a watch with the engraving “SA” during one of the promotions, to return it immediately in exchange for a denim jacket.

“This changes everything,” said Ricky Franz, a long-time Vikings fan who always saw Peterson as a modern-day slave. “It’s like, if Adrian Peterson isn’t a slave, then who is?”

The report cites Peterson’s 2010 income of well over $0.01, lack of chained appendages and freedom as the primary indicators that the running back could not possibly be a slave.

“Not only did we find that Adrian Peterson is not a slave as we once thought, but he is in fact the polar opposite of a slave and is wealthy beyond all comprehension with the freedom to find another occupation,” said head researcher Arie Miller from the Institute for the Study of Modern-Day Slaves. “We also found him to be completely detached from reality.”

In addition to the discovery that Peterson is a well-paid professional athlete, the report also indicated that as many as 100% of other well-paid professional athletes are not slaves.

“The players may be locked out of the NFL right now, but the flavor is definitely locked in our delicious hamburgers!” commissioner Roger Goodell said during a Tuesday press conference. “Don’t labor another minute! Visit any of our 32 locations for family fun at a collective bargain! You definitely won’t leave the table disappointed!”

Goodell also announced that the Fuddruckers wait staff could face a potential lockout if the two sides cannot agree that 100% of everyone’s tips belong to the NFL.