Eagles come up short in bid for first tackle in 50 years
Despite the growing buzz surrounding the Eagles for much of the season, another heartbreaking loss to the Packers put an end to the team’s pursuit of its first recorded tackle since 1960.
“I think Ernie [Sims] got a hand on somebody in the third quarter,” Andy Reid said of Sims’ touching of an opposing player, the first by an Eagles defender since a late-hit on a punter in Week 2. “We really thought this was our year to finally bring home that tackle that this city has been waiting for.”
The Eagles kicked this season off with a loss against the Packers while wearing throwback kelly green uniforms to commemorate the 50th anniversary of what is now known as “the tackle,” and ultimately fell to them again after Aaron Rodgers threw three touchdowns and 9th-string running back James Starks ran for 123 yards.
“We looked at tape and found out Eagles defenders are weakest when you run directly at them,” said Packers head coach Mike McCarthy. “If you do that and sort of slow down where they can really size you up and figure out the best way to tackle you, their head will explode and you’ll be able to run right by them. It worked to perfection tonight.”
Sources close to the team indicate that Reid’s 12th consecutive year as head coach without a recorded tackle could earn him a five-year contract extension this offseason.
Kevin Kolb underachieves career milestone
Kevin Kolb threw for 162 yards against the Cowboys on Sunday to underachieve 2,082 yards for his career, passing Koy Detmer for 23rd on the Eagles all-time passing yards list.
“If someone told me when we drafted Kevin that he would have 2,000 career yards after his fourth season in the league, I wouldn’t have believed them,” Andy Reid said after a 14-13 loss to the Cowboys in the regular season finale. “With any luck, he should be knocking on the door to 2,500 yards by next season.”
Kolb also underachieved his 11th career touchdown on Sunday, which also passed Detmer on the Eagles’ all-time passing touchdowns list.
“I just want to thank Coach Reid, because without hyping me up to be some great quarterback, I wouldn’t have been able to underachieve any of this,” said Kolb. “Thanks a lot, dick.”
Eagles plan to rest starters for second straight week
Andy Reid announced that he would continue to rest his starters for Sunday’s regular season finale against the Cowboys after allowing them to sit out on Tuesday against the Vikings.
“The original plan was to rest the guys during the last week of the season,” said Reid on Thursday. “But they’ve done such an amazing job all year that I told them they could just watch the Vikings game like the rest of us.”
The day off will give the starters a full 20 days to rest while giving Kevin Kolb an entire three hours to be the Eagles starting quarterback again.
Eagles mount comeback after Andy Reid stops watching
Andy Reid said Monday that it “just figures” the Eagles would mount a dramatic fourth quarter comeback after he stopped watching the game because the team was “pissing [him] off too much.”
“This happens every time. I stop paying attention to the game, and they start playing ridiculous football,” said Reid. “Sometimes–and I know this is going to sound pretty weird–but sometimes I really feel like I’m a jinx to this team.”
With the Eagles down 21 points with 7:18 minutes left in the game and Andy Reid watching Golden Girls, Michael Vick took over the game, throwing two touchdowns and rushing for another while the Eagles defense forced two crucial punts to keep the score tied at 31-31.
“I got a text from my buddy saying the score was tied, so I started watching again,” said Reid. “Then I see DeSean (Jackson) drop the punt and I start freaking out again and quit watching.”
Moments after Reid turned his attention away from the game, Jackson picked the ball up and ran for a game-winning touchdown while time expired.
This marks the 118th time in Reid’s 12-year career that he was watching something else during an Eagles win.
Andy Reid mismanages ninth helping of macaroni, cheese
Andy Reid had to be carted to a nearby couch on Thursday after going for an unconventional ninth helping of macaroni and cheese rather than let time wind down so people could put the food away.
“Uuuugh. Nope, that’s not sittin’ right,” Reid mumbled after blowing his fifth Thanksgiving dinner in as many years on a controversial call. “What was I–ooooh God–what was I thinking? It looked like a pretty good idea at the time. Oh man, this ain’t natural.”
According to team doctors, Reid’s status for Sunday’s game against the Bears is questionable, but the head coach should still be able to fit in some dessert later, so don’t put that away yet.
Reid: We’re happy with the way Kolb is regressing
Following the announcement on Tuesday that Michael Vick would be the Eagles’ starting quarterback for the remainder of the season, Eagles head coach Andy Reid maintained that Kevin Kolb’s slow regression as the team’s starting quarterback of the future is still “right on track.”
“The fourth year as a backup is critical to becoming an elite NFL quarterback,” Reid said without cracking a smile. “We’re not sure his skills are eroding quickly enough, but mentally, his confidence is shot to all kinds of hell, which is an important step in his development.”
Reid then discussed his plans to further Kolb’s relapse by breaking his throwing arm in five places, murdering his entire family and releasing him on Christmas morning.
“Kevin will be a great quarterback one day,” Reid added with a straight face.
Eagles to start Mike Kafka if everyone doesn’t shut up
Eagles head coach Andy Reid announced Tuesday that he will go with rookie Mike Kafka at quarterback against the Jaguars if everyone doesn’t get off of his freaking back already.
“I’ve decided that Mike Kafka is gonna be my guy on Sunday if you guys don’t shut it up,” threatened Reid. “So, if you want Kafka on the field, keep bumping them gums about how Vick isn’t starting, OK? Yeah, that’s what I thought. Kevin Kolb doesn’t looks so bad now, does he?”
Reid noted that Kafka will practice with the first team offense this week just in case the head coach hears another peep from anyone else.
Kolb, Bradley given mandatory 8-count before returning to field
After being knocked down in Sunday’s 27-20 loss to the Packers, Kevin Kolb and Stewart Bradley were each given the mandatory eight-count by Eagles’ trainers before being allowed to return to the field.
“We’re required by the league to do it,” Andy Reid said of the extensive test to give the player eight seconds to return to consciousness. “I think it’s a little excessive, but rules are rules.”
The league-mandated eight-count has been used by NFL teams since the 2008 season when Commissioner Roger Goodell determined that the previous policy of ‘Play if there’s a pulse’ jeopardized players’ safety.
Eagles lose highly-anticipated debut of kelly green uniforms
After several months of anticipation, the Eagles throwback kelly green uniforms finally took the field in an impressive debut in Sunday’s 27-20 loss to the Packers.
“They looked sharp. Better than I expected, actually,” head coach Andy Reid said of the uniforms. “It’s just too bad this was a one-game deal. Now we’ll have to watch this mess of an offense get injured on every play in their normal duds.”
Kevin Kolb also made his debut for the Eagles and was outplayed by Michael Vick if that’s any indication of where the quarterback situation is right now.
Reid: Kolb allows us to shift focus back to passing game
Eagles head coach Andy Reid spoke Tuesday about the start to the Kevin Kolb era in Philadelphia and the quarterback’s ability to bring the team back to a more pass-oriented offense.
“That’s something we lacked while Donovan [McNabb] was here,” Reid said of his pass-until-you-can’t-pass-no-more coaching style. “Kevin’s accuracy and pocket presence allows us to get back to throwing the ball, which we got away from when Donovan handed the ball off once in Week 5 and one other time in Week 11. That’s not our game.”
Reid also announced his plans to completely phase out the use of a running back by the end of the season, though he did admit it could happen “as early as Week 6 against the Falcons.”