Jamie Moyer defies age to become oldest player in baseball
Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer has overcome his many critics and advanced age to become baseball’s oldest player for a third straight season.
Moyer, who pitched a two-hit shutout against the Atlanta Braves on Friday, has had to answer questions about his age for many years, but the 47-year-old is hopeful that this third straight title will finally put an end to the discussion.
“People are saying I’m too old for this and that, but I think this says otherwise,” Jamie Moyer said of his distinction. “I’m the oldest player in the game, and that’s something Babe Ruth could never claim. I’m not saying I’m better than Ruth, but that still sounds kinda badass doesn’t it?”
Philly hit with over three inches of Halladay-generated drool
The mere thought of adding Roy Halladay to the defending World Champions’ roster has left some Philadelphians waist-deep in their own slobber and without power last night.
The situation in the Delaware Valley may get worse before it gets any better as more and more fans realize just how freaking incredible the Phillies would be with Roy Hall-of-Fame-some-a-day atop their rotation.
“I was out at P.J. Welihan’s with my boys talking about the whole Halladay situation,” said Ryan Billings, a South Jersey Phillies fan. “The next thing we know, everybody in the bar is talking about it and we’re all wallowing in our own saliva. Sounds really gross, but we didn’t really care. We just want Halladay.”
Halladay would give Phils fans the opportunity to look back 10 years from now and say they witnessed not only the greatest team in franchise history, but possibly one of the greatest in major league history.
By 2019, Chase Utley will have officially become the greatest second baseman to play the game. Ryan Howard will be the most prolific home run hitter since Babe Ruth. Jimmy Rollins will have punched his ticket to Cooperstown with his 3,000th career hit. The rotation of Roy Halladay, Cole Hamels, Joe Blanton, Jamie Moyer and Pedro Martinez may end up with the largest career win totals of any rotation ever. Jayson Werth will have his own statue in front of The Bank, capturing his signature strikeout, fall-on-one-knee swing and best of all, the Phils will have won back-to-back World Series and quite possibly an unprecedented twelve-peat.
EDITOR’S NOTE TO PHILLIES FRONT OFFICE: Stop farting around and get this done.