Coste sedated to hide reckless enthusiasm for White House trip

The Phillies were finally able to fit in their trip to the White House on Friday and no one was more excited for the day’s arrival than Chris Coste.

In the days leading up to the visit, Coste posted daily countdown reminders on each players’ locker and would randomly scream ‘Obama!’ and ‘Change!’ into unsuspecting teammates’ ears.

“We thought he was just messin’ around at first,” said Pedro Feliz. “But the yelling, singing and all-around drunken excitement for Obama just got worse.”

Team doctors felt it best to sedate Coste with a healthy plate of soul food before the White House visit for his own safety as well as the president.

“To the outsider, it may look like he was dragged there against his will because he voted for the ‘other guy’, but that’s not the case at all,” said Chad Durbin. “Believe me, Costie’s the president’s number one fan.”