McNabb tears hamstring walking to X-Ray machine
The Eagles’ defense punished the Panthers to the tune of seven turnovers en route to a 38-10 trouncing on Sunday but the bigger story was Donovan McNabb’s third quarter injury that may require him to miss the next two games.
McNabb left Sunday’s game with a cracked rib after rushing for a three-yard touchdown and then proceeded to tear a hamstring and stub his right pinkie toe on his way to receive X-Rays for the rib injury.
“Don should be fine and we’re not ruling him out for next week against the Saints,” Andy Reid said of McNabb at a press conference on Monday. “He’s got the cracked rib, torn hammy and stubbed pinkie toe but he could have two broken arms and I think he’d still be out there when Michael [Vick] comes back. I can guarantee that.”
Vick fumbles microphone twice in painful regular season debut
Michael Vick may want to hit the reset button after a very disappointing outing against Nueva Esperanza Academy in his regular season debut on Tuesday.
Vick, facing an onslaught of impressionable youth, appeared nervous as he fumbled his microphone twice and could only effectively answer 14 of 27 questions on the day.
“Mr. [Jeffrey] Lurie said my football career depends on how I do at these appearances,” said Vick. “I wasn’t happy with the way I performed out there, but I’m looking forward to rebounding against the The Caring Center next week and hopefully, I’ll be at 100% by the time I face Children’s Village in Week 6.”
Vick will travel with the Eagles to Charlotte as they take on the Panthers this Sunday, but will not be permitted on the sidelines with his team. He will instead watch the game from a protective “Vick bubble” in an undisclosed location to keep him away from the three remaining anti-Vick protesters.
Vick eligible to disrupt Eagles offense starting Week 3
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell gave Michael Vick and the Eagles the green light to obliterate their existing offensive playbook sooner than previously expected. The Eagles will be free to experiment with their new toy starting in Week 3 at home against the Chiefs, when Vick will be fully reinstated by the league.
Andy Reid spoke about the news and didn’t seem all that pleased by Goodell’s decision.
“I really can’t tell you I’m happy about this,” said Reid. “Goodell led us to believe Michael wouldn’t be available until around Week 4 or 5. We still have no freaking clue how we’re actually going to use him in games and now he’ll be available Week 3? Goodell completely screwed us.”
Vick played in the team’s final preseason game and was sacked four times, lost a fumble and threw an interception in the 38-27 loss to the Jets but did manage to run two yards for a touchdown in the second quarter.
“I wanted to end the preseason on a high note,” Vick said after the game. “And as you can see that didn’t happen. But at least my first game back is against the Chiefs which we’re treating like a fifth preseason game at this point.”
Philly NAACP set to protest rogue fan’s apathy toward Vick
The Eagles may have to deal with a second protest by the Philadelphia NAACP at their home opener against the Saints on September 20.
During a scheduled protest in support of Michael Vick, local NAACP head J. Whyatt Mondesire expressed his disappointment in one lone fan’s rather calm indifference when Vick was first introduced.
“The way this so-called fan just stood there as everyone around him showered Michael [Vick] with a gracious standing ovation for being a playmaking athlete just shows you that he still needs our help and support,” said Mondesire on Friday. “It’s because of fans like this that we still have a lot of work to do.”
Following his release from home confinement on July 20, Vick suffered through a bitter jobless period of approximately 25 days before signing a two-year deal with the Eagles worth up to $9.8 million — the equivalent of an I.O.U. welfare check and expired Jiffy Lube coupons compared to the $130 million contract extension he signed with the Falcons in 2004.
“No one should have to wait 25 days to get a job after being in jail for two years.” Mondesire continued. “He’s been unfairly treated by pockets of protesters and exploited by the media as some kind of potential feel-good story ever since he was released from prison. I thought this was America where we treat our felons like royalty as long as they can drop back facing a zone blitz and still hit their tight end for a first down. Is this China? Are we in China now?”
Eagles to sponsor degenerate gambler with three-year deal
In their continued effort to open their arms to deadbeats in need of a second chance, the Eagles will sponsor Dave Pekula’s rehabilitation from severe gambling addiction with a three-year $7.3 million deal.
Pekula, who hasn’t played an NFL down in ever, once lost his mother’s home and now walks with the aid of two prosthetic legs as a result of his out-of-control gambling habits.
Owner Jeffrey Lurie has stressed that where and how Pekula plays isn’t as important as getting him healthy again.
“Dave has been in a bad spot for a couple years now, but wants to turn his life around,” said Lurie as he introduced the Villanova product to the media on Tuesday. “Whether he becomes a good football player having never played so much as a pee-wee game is possible, but more importantly for Dave and for the National Football League, he has the opportunity to be a valuable member of society and that’s the goal here.”
McNabb: Great to finally have a QB fans hate more than me
During Friday’s press conference introducing Michael Vick to the media, both Vick and Andy Reid mentioned how integral Donovan McNabb’s role was in bringing the former Falcons QB to Philly. On Saturday, McNabb hinted at exactly why he pushed so hard to bring Vick into the fold.
“Selfishly, I’ve hogged the spotlight for a while now and I want to allow someone else to experience the joy of being a QB in this town,” said McNabb. “Mike just seemed like the perfect scapegoat–I mean–natural athlete that could help this team finally win a Super Bowl.”
McNabb was eventually called on his BS and finally gave a more realistic explanation for why he thought bringing in a convicted felon that plays his position was a fantastic idea.
“You guys and the fans have been on my ass for years now, ” McNabb told a select group of reporters on Saturday. “I thought it would be great to finally be able to turn the focus away from me. I might throw behind a receiver or get picked, but Mike [Vick] drowned, shot and electrocuted dogs. I could throw five picks and take a dump at mid field every game this year and no one would notice. I’m gonna enjoy this season.”
Local dog actually OK with Vick signing
Though the majority of Eagles fans are livid with the signing of Michael Vick, PhillyGameday.com managed to catch up with a local terrier named Puddles that was surprisingly fine with the deal.
“You’d think that of everyone involved in this situation, dogs would want the first crack at this guy,” said Chris Giorno, Puddles’ owner. “But I asked him what he thought and he kind of just wagged his tail and did that little dog smile thing they do.”
Some have already dismissed Puddles’ approval of Vick as a mere coincidence and that dogs pretty much like anything, but Giorno explained that the bite size Eagles fan knows his stuff.
“Just last night when Akers missed that field goal to lose the game, Puddy went bananas,” said Giorno. “And don’t ever…ever…EVER mention the letters T-O around him. The teeth come out and it gets pretty messy, hence the name Puddles.”
Reid breaks obviously made up story about weight loss
Unable to effectively control news about the season-ending injury to linebacker Stewart Bradley, head coach Andy Reid has resorted to fabricating news to satisfy his inner Belichick and decide when news breaks.
Reid announced to reporters that he had lost 75 pounds over the past three months on the Medifast plan, though members of the media initially took it as a joke and laughed uncontrollably for about 17 minutes straight.
“Coach didn’t lose any weight, he’s just getting desperate out there,” said cornerback Asante Samuel. “Even if it was true, that’s like losing a brick on a pyramid. He’s a large human being either way.”
Kolb impressive in 'throw to guys with green helmets' drill
The Eagles’ 2009 season is officially underway as training camp opened at Lehigh University on Monday. The initial Day One buzz focused on the absence of first round pick Jeremy Maclin but quickly turned to Kevin Kolb’s eyebrow-raising performance in the ‘play catch with your teammate’ drill.
“Kevin caught everyone’s attention out there today,” said Assistant Head Coach and Offensive Coordinator Marty Mornhinweg. “He picked out a teammate and threw to him for about 20 minutes while avoiding throwing to other players, coaches, reporters and fans in the stands. Just a superb session.”
Mornhinweg also noted that new offensive lineman Stacey Andrews struggled mightily in the ‘don’t eat the punter’ drill.
Eager to volunteer, Sheldon Brown helps out at local soup kitchen
Andy Reid was pleased to find out that Sheldon Brown has been absent from the team’s OTAs because the cornerback has spent the past two weeks volunteering at a local soup kitchen and not because of an ongoing contract dispute.
Brown’s selfless act inspired Asante Samuel to also cut his training camp short and lend a hand at the kitchen, though he basically just took advantage of the free food and laughed at Brown the whole time.
“I know everybody thought I was just sitting at home all day trying to prove a point,” said Brown. “But as much as I love volunteering to play football with the Eagles, it doesn’t compare to my love for volunteering to help those in need. If I could volunteer for both at the same time, I would, but the soup kitchen needs me more than the Eagles do right now.”