Report: Urban Meyer still alive, just stepping down from Florida

According to a report by University of Florida head coach Urban Meyer, University of Florida head coach Urban Meyer is actually still alive and will just be stepping down as head coach due to health concerns.

On Sunday, Meyer responded to the exaggerated coverage of his resignation that made it seem like he was gravely ill and, in some cases, deceased.

“As you can see, I am still very much alive,” Meyer said when asked to confirm his aliveness. “I heard that I had passed late Saturday night, but my wife and I were able to deny those reports after a brief talk.”

Unheralded Florida QB prepared to hire public relations firm

In an effort to gain national exposure, little known University of Florida quarterback Tim Tebow has hired the infamous Bernstein Agency to handle his public image.

“Playing at an academic school like Florida, people haven’t had the opportunity to see what I can do on a football field,” Tebow said. “I’m not one of those guys who will pester everyone with over-the-top religious propaganda. All I’m asking for is a chance.”

Josh Bernstein, chairman of the Bernstein Agency, has launched an aggressive campaign to deliver Tim Tebow to the American public.

“It’s no fault of Tim’s that no one knows him,” said Bernstein. “He deserves the attention other players of his caliber get, and it’s my aim to have him in at least some households in America.”

One thing is for sure, devout college football fans are eager to see Tim Tebow play.