Kolb, Bradley given mandatory 8-count before returning to field

After being knocked down in Sunday’s 27-20 loss to the Packers, Kevin Kolb and Stewart Bradley were each given the mandatory eight-count by Eagles’ trainers before being allowed to return to the field.

“We’re required by the league to do it,” Andy Reid said of the extensive test to give the player eight seconds to return to consciousness. “I think it’s a little excessive, but rules are rules.”

The league-mandated eight-count has been used by NFL teams since the 2008 season when Commissioner Roger Goodell determined that the previous policy of ‘Play if there’s a pulse’ jeopardized players’ safety.

Reid breaks obviously made up story about weight loss

Unable to effectively control news about the season-ending injury to linebacker Stewart Bradley, head coach Andy Reid has resorted to fabricating news to satisfy his inner Belichick and decide when news breaks.

Reid announced to reporters that he had lost 75 pounds over the past three months on the Medifast plan, though members of the media initially took it as a joke and laughed uncontrollably for about 17 minutes straight.

“Coach didn’t lose any weight, he’s just getting desperate out there,” said cornerback Asante Samuel. “Even if it was true, that’s like losing a brick on a pyramid. He’s a large human being either way.”