Donovan McNabb rescued from city of Philadelphia
After 11 agonizing years in a Philadelphia labor camp, mistreated quarterback Donovan McNabb is now safe after being rescued by the Washington Redskins.
According to many national reports, McNabb was originally taken against his will by the Philadelphia Eagles in 1999 and sold into forced labor where he suffered through years of abuse by brutish locals, never getting the respect he deserved.
“First of all, we’re just glad to say that he is now out of harm’s way,” said Daniel Snyder, the Redskins owner who led McNabb’s rescue attempt out of the treacherous city. “The entire nation watched for over a decade as McNabb was treated like some sort of Gladiator sent into an arena to please a crowd. They want to see him finish the job instead of just being satisfied with making it as far as he did every year. They’re all savages. Every last one of them.”
The Redskins were able to secure McNabb’s release in exchange for a couple draft picks, which the Eagles will likely use to take more unsuspecting college kids from their families.
Although the national media reports are distinctly one-sided, many local Philadelphians have given conflicting reports of McNabb’s treatment while with the Eagles.
“I actually liked the guy and thought he was good for the team,” said one sober townsperson who was immediately dismissed from commenting any further.
McNabb could not be reached for comment, but his agent said that he is glad to “finally leave the only fan base in the universe that would ever ‘boo’ a draft pick or criticize a player for his poor performance on the field.”
Redskins fire Zorn, Bills fire everybody not nailed down
January 4, 2010 by Zaki
Filed under Analysis & Opinions
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Why does it seem like indecisiveness among retiring athletes and coaches is suddenly en vogue? Roger Clemens and Brett Favre are the most infamous, but I just wonder where this annoying trend started.
It looks like the Redskins and Bills are pretty serious about taking advantage of a few coaches that aren’t ready to hang it up quite yet. Mike Shanahan, who is rumored to be the front-runner for the now-vacant Redskins job, didn’t exactly retire, but was not offered a coaching job after being fired by the Broncos and spent this past season unemployed.
There has been plenty of discussion of late about former Steelers coach Bill Cowher joining the Bills and now that the team has fired their entire coaching staff, it’s looking like Cowher will be able jump right in with his own crew. ESPN has something about how it’s unlikely he’ll coach next year, but we should all know by now that that’s media speak for ‘Cowher just wants to be left alone until he makes a decision, so we’ll say he’s not going to coach.’
It will be great for the game to see these guys back coaching again, but with both teams struggling the way they are, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that one of the two Super Bowl-winning coaches will fail at developing their team into anything respectable.
Reid’s pick-and-roll, sac bunt calls nearly doom Eagles
The Eagles managed to pull out a 27-24 win over the lowly Redskins despite Andy Reid’s questionable decision to start the game with an onside kick and a third quarter call for Donovan McNabb to bunt the runners over.
Reid and Marty Mornhinweg have been criticized for their unconventional playcalling and overall tendencies toward making things more difficult than they really need to be.
“We don’t pretend to be the geniuses that everyone makes us out to be,” Reid said of himself and Mornhinweg. “But this is football at its highest level. If it was so easy to remember how much time is left or what the score was, don’t you think everyone would do it?”
McNabb: Eagles face ‘should-win’ game against Redskins
Last week, Donovan McNabb called for a ‘must-win’ game against the Bears and the Eagles responded by barely beating them. This week, McNabb will try and rally his team by calling for a ‘should-win’ game against a banged-up and tragically awful Redskins team.
“We’ve faced a couple of these ‘should-win’ situations this year and haven’t done too well,” McNabb said. “There’s just something about being the overwhelming favorite and having way more talent than the other team that just set’s us up for failure. Hopefully, we’ll turn things around this week.”