Snickering David Stern temporarily reinstates Gilbert Arenas

Two days after indefinitely suspending Gilbert Arenas for his recent behavior, NBA Commissioner David Stern had his way with the troubled guard by temporarily lifting his suspension for all of three minutes.

“I brought him into my office to tell him the suspension was over,” Stern said on Friday. “We shook hands and just before he was about to walk out, I told him I was just messin’ around and in all seriousness, he’ll probably be 50 before I let him play again. You should have seen his face, though. He totally lost his s–t. Just priceless.”

Stern held a press conference Friday morning to announce the prank and taunt Arenas a little more.

“What happened Gilbert?”  Stern asked mockingly at his press conference. “You were having so much fun joking with your little finger guns that I thought you’d enjoy my joke. Oh well. Have fun with no duckets for the rest of the year.”

Sixers guarantee long, painful season for Iverson

The Sixers made a major move yesterday by guaranteeing that Allen Iverson will endure one of the longest and most painful seasons of his 14-year career.

“When we first brought him in here, we couldn’t guarantee how this season would turn out,” Sixers GM Ed Stefanski said on Wednesday. “Now that we’ve seen him perform with the rest of the team, we’re able to guarantee that this is going to be a tough season for everyone involved.”

Iverson celebrated the news by scoring four whole points to go with seven turnovers in Wednesday’s come-from-ahead loss to the troubled Washington Wizards.

What in the Gilbert Arenas is up with Gilbert Arenas

Good job by whoever had the foresight to change Washington’s name from the Bullets to the Wizards. Otherwise, bloggers and columnists would have so much fuel, we’d probably explode.

In a matter of two months, Gilbert Arenas has gone from having his fiance allegedly stolen away by Shaq to now drawing a gun on his teammate, Javaris Crittenton, in the Wizards locker room.

The report about the gun incident says that ‘Agent Zero’ has had “unloaded firearms” stored in a container in his locker. Apparently, the Washington Wizards locker room situation is about as dangerous as a 3 AM walk through Camden, so it’s necessary to keep multiple weapons nearby just in case something pops off. Crittenton apparently shared Hibachi’s locker room safety concerns as he also had a gun stashed and drew it on Arenas during the altercation.

Who knew something like this was even possible: Teammates pulling guns on each other over an alleged gambling debt. Crittenton hasn’t appeared in a game yet this season, so I would imagine his days as a Wizard are just about done with, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see the Wiz drop Arenas, who seems to have a lot on his plate all of the sudden.

Maybe a reunion with Eddie Jordan is in order. We could also add Tracy McGrady in the process and send five guards out on the floor that miss 60% of their shots and want the ball in their hands at all times.

I love basketball.