Yankees fans apparently not on par with team's willingness to throw money away
The New York Yankees have failed in their attempt to royally gouge their fans for seats in the newly built $1.5 billion Yankee Stadium. The Yankees’ original plan was to offset the cost of the stadium and overpriced talent by fleecing fans, but several hundred empty seats have forced the team to lower ticket prices to more reasonably outrageous levels.
The stadium’s most expensive seats originally fetched for $2,500 before the decrease and are now priced at a more equitable $1,250. For clarification, the one-time payment of $1,250 will earn you one — yes, one — ticket to one home game to (in all likelihood) watch the Yankees struggle against a visiting opponent.
“We obviously did a horrible job of anticipating how things would play out with this new stadium,” said Yankees general managing partner Hal Steinbrenner. “We made the sacrifice to throw a ton of money at our players and we expect the fans to throw that same money back at us. Who knew the fans would be this cheap?”
Abreu unemployment enters third month
Former Phillies outfielder Bobby Abreu has been unemployed for nearly three months since being laid off by the New York Yankees in an effort to lower payroll and “to head in another direction”, according to GM Brian Cashman.
“When I was told that my services were no longer needed with the Yankees, it was a little tough to take,” Abreu said. “They gave me some garbage about wanting to slash payroll, but then they go spend a half a billion dollars in about a month. The next thing I know, I’m at home updating my resume and posting it on CareerBuilder.com.”
When asked why he’s finding it hard to find a job this offseason, he said “I don’t know, really. I can still hit doubles…doesn’t anyone like doubles anymore?”
Paul Byrd, another former Phillie and current unemployed ballplayer, was spotted on Monday in front of Citizens Bank Ballpark with a sign reading “Will do old-timey windup and Kelsey Grammer impersonation for food.”