Tiger Woods withdraws from hot cocktail waitress
Updated: December 3, 2009

By , PhillyGameday.com

Tiger Woods announced on his website that he has pulled out of a Las Vegas cocktail waitress, a woman he has hosted countless times over the years.

“I’m extremely disappointed that I will not be able to finish my business with this woman,” Woods said in his statement. “I’m pretty sure it would have been [expletive] fantastic, but out of respect for my wife and children, I decided to withdraw midway through and hope everyone will respect my decision to do so.”

Woods cited getting caught with his pants down and a Swedish foot-in-ass as the reason for the sudden recoil.

“As a result of the events of the past week, I have also decided to cancel all other affairs for the rest of 2009,” Woods continued. “By next season, this will have probably blown over and I’ll decide when I will return to the game. Better and more sly than before.”

Tiger Woods withdraws from own tourney, won’t attend [ESPN]

Zaki is the Chief Rocka and senior writer for PhillyGameday.com and thinks you should hurry up and follow the site on Twitter and Facebook before it's too late.

10 Responses to “Tiger Woods withdraws from hot cocktail waitress”

  1. Travis Henry on December 11th, 2009 2:50 pm

    Withdraw method is for quitters. Right, Shawn Kemp?

  2. Zaki on December 11th, 2009 5:11 pm

    Whoa, whoa….whoa….they got the internet in jail now?

  3. Travis Henry on December 11th, 2009 6:30 pm

    Yes, but this jail thing has really hurt my pace of illegitimate childen.

  4. Tiger Woods Updates on December 12th, 2009 1:40 pm

    I feel bad for Tiger. Using him to make an example is ridiculous. Why not all the other actors out there that are cheating?

  5. Zaki on December 12th, 2009 1:50 pm

    He’s the world’s most prominent athlete and probably celebrity in general. Not only that, it’s just the shock of thinking this guy was a great straight-edged family man and now we’re hearing he’s probably had a dozen (if not more) women on the side.

    Funny you actually posted this comment though, because I’m in the middle of writing an opinion piece about people that feel sorry for this guy.

  6. Tiger Woods Updates on December 12th, 2009 1:54 pm

    I’m not condoning what he’s done. I just don’t think it’s fair to focus only on this as a media stand point. The fact that this is gaining more talk than Michael Jacksons death is just not right.

  7. Zaki on December 12th, 2009 1:59 pm

    It’s a very interesting story to people, and I completely understand why. And…umm…aren’t you running a Tiger Woods news update site there? How do you feel bad about people covering all this stuff and you’ve decided to run a website covering all this stuff?

  8. Tiger Woods Updates on December 12th, 2009 8:30 pm

    it’s just a site I have been following

  9. Phil Mickleson on December 12th, 2009 8:34 pm

    I can’t believe everyone is believing all these lies I have planted to get Tiger out of my way. Tiger getting laid? hahahaha

  10. Zaki on December 13th, 2009 12:27 am

    So you’re following this story but you think the media shouldn’t be covering it?

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