Lane Kiffin and USC: A match made in dysfunction
Updated: January 13, 2010

By Zaki,

Lane Kiffin heading to USC is like that girl we all knew with daddy issues that kept going back to the abusive, dysfunctional boyfriend. They need each other to feel normal, and what’s normal to them is totally weird and makes absolutely no sense to the rest of us.

Kiffin will bring his dysfunction to a program — and school for that matter — with a laundry list of unresolved recruiting violations and sanctions and the question becomes when and not if Kiffin will end up in hot water for bending the rules.

Tennessee rescued Kiffin from a pitiful stint with the Oakland Raiders and from the door, he insisted on trying to stir things up with Urban Meyer and the University of Florida. The we find out he recruited four idiots — likely with the help of a couple “recruiting hostesses” — that were more interested in stealing a couple dollars than making an ass-load of them in the NFL some day.

It’s obvious I don’t understand the inner workings of college athletics since it would make more sense to me to hire a more upstanding head coach amid so many issues with the USC football program, but instead they go with the one head coach that actually got in more trouble in one season than a lot of head coaches go through in a decade-long tenure. I understand he’s a “USC guy”, but is he literally that perfect of a fit that it wasn’t even worth a look at someone with a better rep and win-loss record than Lane Kiffin?

Zaki is the Chief Rocka and senior writer for

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