Football expert unsure how to grip, throw football
Updated: September 3, 2010

By Zaki,

According to witnesses, award-winning NFL expert John Clayton reportedly looked “confused” and “not at all comfortable” when asked to throw an actual football on Friday.

“Judging by the way he held the football with both hands, we started to wonder if he had ever touched a football before,” said one non-football expert witness of the football expert. “Then he tried to throw it and we didn’t wonder anymore.”

Clayton, who recently ranked Eagles quarterback Kevin Kolb 24th out of 32 NFL quarterbacks, was inducted into the writers’ wing of the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2007, a full three years before touching an actual football for the first time.

Zaki is the Chief Rocka and senior writer for

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