Inattentive Eagles fan scoffs at Dolphins being Week 13 favorites
Updated: December 9, 2011

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It has been a disappointing season for the Eagles, to say the least, and nowhere is that more epitomized than the predictions for the NFL’s week 13, in which the Eagles, pre season Superbowl favorites, have been picked as losing to the not-as-surprisingly 4-8 Miami Dolphins.

“They think we’ll get dropped by the Dolphins?” South Philly resident Andrew Butcher exclaimed from the comfort of his Randall Cunningham jersey on Wednesday.  “Ha ha ha, no way.  The Dolphins blow ass.”

Butcher, though admitting he spends most Sundays “passed out, face deep in pussy” went on to describe the Dolphins as a “bunch of lame fucks” who “don’t even have a quarterback or whatever.”

“Maybe you haven’t seen the papers, but the Eagles are going to the Superbowl!!” Butcher continued, emphasizing the latter half of his statement in hopes of garnering cheers by passersby on the street.  “Come on, we got Jenkins, Asomugha, Shady, DeSean, muthafuckin’ Vick—Dude, we got everybody.

Requiring several instances of explanations and enthusiastic pointing to believe the Eagles’ collapse, Butcher soon retreated into his home alone, where he overcooked some spaghetti and fell asleep in a stained recliner with a vibrating Xbox controller in his lap after guzzling six Natural Lights.


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