Manny’s ovarian issues highlight growing problem in MLB
Updated: May 7, 2009

By Zaki,

Manny Ramirez will be suspended for 50 games after using a women’s fertility drug prescribed by his doctor. The Dodgers outfielder has apparently struggled alongside countless other women in this country with pregnancy issues, which places Ramirez on the growing list of major league players now known to have lady bits.

Ramirez has repeatedly denied use of any performance enhancing drugs, but will not appeal the suspension and subsequent loss of $7.7 million in salary “out of respect to the system, and let’s be real here … I was gonna hang it up for at least 50 games this season anyway, so it kinda works out,” according to Ramirez.

Alex Rodriguez was also recently caught with his vag showing by denying steroid use on national television in 2007 and admitting to steroid use on national television two years later this past February.

Rodriguez and Ramirez are only part of a larger, growing list of high-profile athletes that have traded in their jocks for tampons, including Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire. Each player was once thought to be a first-ballot Hall of Famer, but will now be denied entrance by baseball writers due to their lack of any semblance of male reproductive organs.

“These guys masqueraded around for years like they were in the same boat as greats like Mays, Aaron and Ted Williams, but one by one we’re finding out the truth about these frauds,” said LA Times writer Bill Plaschke. “It’s not so much the fact that they have snatches that really bothers me about it … just the fact that they lied about it this whole time, you know what I mean?”

Albert Pujols is expected to be named to the list in the coming days or years, at which time Major League Baseball will officially be forced to erase 96.2% of its record book from 1994 to 2007.

Zaki is the Chief Rocka and senior writer for

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