Labor dispute ends after NFL wastes $9 billion on legal fees

The labor dispute between the NFL and its players over how to split the $9 billion in revenues from 2010 came to an end on Thursday after the league realized it had already blown all of the money on legal fees.

“Well then…I guess that’s the end of that,” NFL commissioner Roger Goodell said of the labor dispute after the NFL and players immediately agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement since money was no longer an issue. “It’s funny how easily you can just focus on what’s best for the game when you remove $9 billion from the picture. Maybe we’ll donate our revenues to charity from now on or something. What’s that? Am I serious? Ha-ha, of course not, but you should’ve seen your face. Classic.”

As of press time, the NFL discovered that $6.27 had actually remained from the 2010 revenues which nullified the newly-signed CBA, sending the two sides back to court over how to divide the $6.27.