Report: Philly fans don't like millionaires that suck at their jobs
Updated: January 31, 2009

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According to several published reports, Philadelphia sports fans don’t care for millionaire athletes that half-ass it on the playing field. The finding comes as a complete surprise when for years it was assumed that Tri-state area fans were simply assholes that paid a good chunk of their hard-earned money to attend games and mercilessly boo players for the hell of it.

“Maybe other fans enjoy flushing their money down the can while these guys are out there giving 20% some days,” said Eagles fan Brian ‘Booch’ Avallone. “Really though, how many people do you know can give 20% and still keep their job? I can get away with about 35% to 40%…but 20%? Fugettaboddit.”

The reports note that athletes tend to have their best years right before they hit free agency, which suggests that they are able to play at a certain level when they feel like it, but choose to coast when the check clears.

“I’d probably take it easy too if I was guaranteed $10 million this year to play baseball,” said Phillies fan Tommy Hagan. “But if I basically steal millions of dollars from an entire city of people, I think I’m getting off pretty easy if all they’re doing is booing me every night. You can take your ass to Wall Street if you want to pull a fat check and loaf off. This is Philly, bub.”

Zaki is the Chief Rocka and senior writer for and thinks you should hurry up and follow the site on Twitter and Facebook before it's too late.

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