The North Carolina Tar Heels pulled off the unforeseen public annihilation of the Michigan State Spartans on Monday night by a score of 89-72. The Tar Heels took an NCAA championship game-record 55 points into halftime and could have easily dropped a good 150 points on the Big Ten ‘powerhouse’ Spartans, but kept the massacre to a minimum out of respect for the reeling Michigan crowd.

The Tar Heels received praise from President Obama following the win for helping him dominate his White House office pool and “totally stick it to [Defense Secretary] Robert Gates.”

“The Tar Heels did a fantastic job of waxing the floor with the Spartans,” Obama said. “I can’t help but feel like I contributed to the win by practicing with them during the [presidential] campaign. It gave them a good heads up to how a team like the Spartans would play ball…and it looks like it paid off.”