Hamels lit up in debut; Suddenly Myers' opening night start doesn't look half bad

Cole Hamels made his season debut against the Rockies on Friday and was Eaton’d (v. - to have your face beaten in on the mound and get taken out of the game with zero dignity and your tail tucked neatly between your legs) to the tune of allowing 11 hits and seven earned runs in only 3.2 innings in the 10-3 loss.

Hamels was the latest Phillie to take the hill and get Eaton’d worse than the previous night’s starter. Brett Myers kicked the season off allowing a minuscule four runs in six innings followed by Jamie Moyer’s ho-hum four runs in five innings of work. Joe Blanton took it up a notch by allowing seven runs in only four innings of work, then Hamels was like “You think that was pathetic? Check this out” and proceeded to post the worst outing by a Phils starter to date.

“Getting Eaton’d out there night after night is tough,” said Rich Dubee. “At this point, we’ll settle for a Kendricking. What…too soon?”