Please, let the doorknob hit you Jordan, by Joey Bagadonuts
Updated: April 15, 2010

By , Columnist

What a complete waste of a year of my life. I told everyone the day that this douchebag Eddie Jordan got hired that this would be a complete disaster, but did anybody listen to me? Hell no.

I knew this guy was no good from the door. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, and this guy’s best trick was turning good teams into garbage, just like he did with the Sixers.

My Sixers were on the verge of becoming a solid NBA team before this guy came to town and ruined everything that Ed Stefanski put together the past few years. There’s no way this team should lose 55 games with Andre Iguodala, Elton Brand and Thaddeus Young on our squad. No freakin’ way. The blame falls squarely on that nutcase Eddie Jordan. If we had anyone else coaching this team, we’d be in the playoffs right now, guaranteed.

I know Larry Brown said he didn’t want to leave the Bobcats, but how awesome would it be to have him back in Philly? I think Larry could guide the team to 50 wins, easy. As much as I want him back in town, I’ll take anybody other than that puss coach and his Princeton offense that we had to watch on the court this year. I kid you not: I could win more than 27 games if I was the coach. I have more basketball knowledge in my thumb than this guy had in his oversized head.

I’m glad he’s finally gone so the Sixers can finally get back to winning games. We have a solid team to build around and the draft is gonna be awesome this year since we finally have a good first-round pick, so I’m really looking forward to next year when we put it all together.

Let that doorknob hit you right in the ass on the way out, Eddie.

As a life-long fan of Philly sports, Joey Bagadonuts is the perfect representative of the entire city and a regular caller of every sports talk radio station in the area. As such, he is more than qualified to write this column and hurl insults back at you if you don't like what he says.

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