Report: MLB to hire additional umpires to umpire umpires
Updated: August 25, 2010

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In response to the recent umpiring controversy around the league, Major League Baseball has reportedly decided to hire additional umpires to umpire current umpires during games.

The report comes one day after umpire Scott Barry lost control during a game between the Phillies and Astros and mocked Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard after a check swing strike call, but due to lack of an umpire to control the unprofessional behavior of umpires, he was not ejected from the game.

According to the report, the new umpires will police existing umpires by making calls of ‘safe’ or ‘out’ after umpires signal ‘safe’ or ‘out’, in addition to ejecting umpires for unruly behavior. The report also details plans to employ more umpires to keep the newly hired umpires in line, if needed.

Many have already criticized the new plans, saying that umpires are about as useful as a malignant tumor given the advances in technology during the 1960s to quickly replay tape to confirm that a baserunner was safe or out or if a ball was fair or foul. However, it appears baseball is fully committed to preserving its place as the former national pastime of the 19th century.

MLB commissioner Bud Selig was unable to confirm the report, but according to league sources, “this sounds like some shit he would probably do.”

Zaki is the Chief Rocka and senior writer for and thinks you should hurry up and follow the site on Twitter and Facebook before it's too late.

4 Responses to “Report: MLB to hire additional umpires to umpire umpires”

  1. bigyaz on August 25th, 2010 4:37 pm

    Is this what passes for humor here?

  2. Zaki on August 25th, 2010 4:57 pm

    Awesome, a hater! I feel so “bigtime”.

  3. MEC813 on August 26th, 2010 4:00 am

    Yeh, “bigyaz” cut that kid shit out. It’s quite clear that MLB umpires are out of control this season. Even Manuel invites the human element into the game, and despite what all baseball purists say, it’s become overwhelmingly clear that Instant Replay is not only a viable option, but at this point it’s downright necessary. 3 years ago Mike Schmidt wrote and article in the Philly Inquirer suggesting a system for baseball, similar to football. A manager gets two challenges, 1 before the 7th inning and 1 after the 7th. And no challenges on a base runner tagging up. It seems more than fair to me. It’ll take too much time you say Joe West? Or Scott Barry? Or any other self important power hungry umpire who injects themselves into the game instead of saying stike, ball, safe, out. Well instead of having Ryan Howard sprint toward you, and you in turn shitting your panties, and all the time that takes up. Lets just act like adults and say, yes we will give Replay a trial run in the 2011 season. Imagine….if you will…a world where Armando Galaraga doesn’t cry every night, while drunkenly leaving threatening phone calls to Jim Joyce’s house. A world where umpires aren’t able to wield their power over players and managers. And yes, a world where Scott Barry doesn’t have shit in his pants at the sight of a furious Ryan Howard Charging at him. What a wonderful world. Zaki, what you do here is not only incredible for Philadelphia Sports fans, it’s also hilarious. I’m a big fan of this site, so keep doing what you’re doing, you should be proud.

  4. Zaki on August 26th, 2010 5:22 pm

    Love the passion MEC! I’m glad you love the site and really appreciate the kind words.

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